Young African American man and Caucasian woman on a first date, eating a hot dog on the street and laughing while getting over their first date nerves.

10 Surefire Ways To Get Over First Date Nerves

If you’re feeling anxious, here are some things you can do to restore calm.

Published on July 1, 2022 • By Elizabeth Entenman

Feeling nervous before a date? It’s okay, first date nerves are totally normal, and we’ve all been there. It’s easy to tumble down a rabbit hole worrying about what to wear, what to talk about, and how to act on a first date. If you’re feeling anxious, there are some things you can do to restore calm. Check out our top 10 tips below!

How to Get Over First Date Nerves: 10 Tips 

1. Plan a simple date

Yes, going on an exciting, adrenaline-fueled date is fun, but an intricately planned activity is by no means mandatory, especially on a first date. In fact, sometimes it can be…a bit much. If you tend to feel anxious before a date, it’s okay to keep things simple. 

Going on a coffee date, grabbing drinks, or meeting for dinner are all perfect first date ideas and they take a bit of the pressure off. A walk around somewhere beautiful is always a winner – the scenery and the walk itself will give you plenty to talk about.

2. Make yourself comfortable 

If you’re already nervous for a date, breaking in a pair of brand-new heels or trying to squeeze in a workout beforehand will only complicate things more. If you’re prone to first date nerves, you can find small ways to make yourself more comfortable from the start. 

Choose a familiar date spot, wear something you feel good in, and allow plenty of time to arrive. If you take control of the things you can control, you’ll be in a much better place before the date even starts.

3. Do something you like beforehand

Keeping yourself occupied and clearing your mind will move your thoughts away from your first date nerves. Go for a run, bake cookies, or listen to your favorite song on repeat. Whatever it is, just make sure it’s something positive that you enjoy!

4. Change your perspective

See if you can transform your nerves into confidence. Think of it this way: Getting the date is the hardest part of dating, and you’ve already aced that. Now, all you have to do is enjoy it. Pretty impressive of you, huh?

5. Set realistic expectations

Your first date might go down in history as the best first date of all time. It could be a sweet story you sell to movie executives and one day tell your grandchildren. Or it might go terribly. 

We don’t say this to make you more nervous, but to preemptively combat first date nerves. When you acknowledge that your first date won’t necessarily be a hit, it can be oddly calming. 

6. Give yourself a mini pep talk and repeat as needed

Hey, self. You look great! Remember, this is just a first date. They happen every single day. There’s no need to be nervous. Your date is just a person. If you hit it off, awesome! But if you don’t, that’s ok too. You’re already doing great because they agreed to go on a date with you. So try to relax and be yourself. Did I mention that you look great? 

7. Or, get a pep talk from a friend

Sometimes, you just need to hear it from someone else in order for it to sink in.

8. Focus on your date instead of yourself

And listen to what they’re saying. The more time you spend getting to know your date, the less time you’ll have to worry about why you’re nervous or what could go wrong.

9. Be yourself 

Like we said, your date is already interested in you. That’s why they’re on a date with you – to get to know more about the person who caught their eye. If you’re feeling nervous, remember that the hard part is technically already over. Then, just keep being you and see where it goes. It’s a recipe for success.

10. Breathe

This is one of the most valuable steps in learning how to calm first date nerves. When in doubt, pause and take three deep breaths. We promise your date won’t even notice.

Put Your Focus on Connecting

If you’re feeling first date nerves, you’re not alone. It happens to just about everyone. In fact, we bet your date is nervous too and probably hoping that you don’t notice. But, online dating in 2022 is all about relaxing and focusing on the person you’re connecting with. This will really help to make sure that you get the most out of the experience. Good luck!

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