There’s something about getting a “hey” for conversation starters for texting that makes you feel like a pre-teen on AOL instant messenger (more commonly known as AIM). Most of us tend to give the same energy we receive, so if we receive a “hey,” we’ll respond with a “hey” or maybe a “what’s up.” It almost feels wrong for the conversation to not devolve into, “nm u?”
Of course, these types of conversations aren’t great for getting to know each other or capturing anyone’s interest, and they probably won’t land you a date. If you’re online dating, you might have to win someone over with your text message banter, which can be challenging.
Here’s a tip and/or challenge: never send a “hey” text.
Personally, I rarely even respond to a “hey,” “hi,” or “hello.” I look at the text, and figure that I’ll give the person time to tell me what they want to know.
Chances are, if you’re messaging someone on an app (especially if you’re messaging a straight, cis woman), they’re getting lots of messages. You want yours to stand out from the crowd! If you’ve moved to texting, you still want to engage the person you’re chatting with and make texting fun!
Here are some conversation starters for texting that are just as cool and casual as “hey,” but actually lead to interesting conversations that’ll help you and the person you’re texting get to know each other.
This is one of my favorite conversation starters for texting that takes the basic “how’s your day?” text and helps you get a more interesting answer than, “good!”
That being said, this classic text isn’t ever a bad idea either. It shows that you care about their day and sounds sweeter than “what’s up?”
Another way to ask about their day, but this time in the morning. It can also be an opener if you want to ask them out for that day, because you’ll see if they’re available.
If you’re not a big texter, this is a great way to turn texting into a date. Find out when they’re free and confirm some plans!
Another text opener to show that you’re not looking to waste time with small talk, but this can also lead to a conversation about what they like doing, what food they enjoy, etc.
This text is a cute way to ask how someone’s day is going, especially if you’re both not great with words. Based on the emojis they send, you can ask questions to keep the conversation going. Like, “why on earth is a whale emoji summing up your day?”
This text works best when complimented by an eye emoji so you can preview what you’re about to ask next. And what you’re about to ask next is, “I love Thai food too! There’s an amazing place on my block. When are you free so I can take you there?”
This is cute, flirty, and a good way to start a conversation without getting too deep.
Take the good morning text, but learn something new about the person you’re texting. After all, synchronized sleep schedules are pretty important in a relationship.
Again, winning conversation starters for texting take a basic small talk topic and turn it into a potential date or something more interesting.
If you want to text someone, but aren’t sure if either of you have time to engage right now, this is a good way to keep you on someone’s mind without taking too much time.
This asks a question about them while also telling them something about you. It also will likely lead them to ask why your day is so stressful.
Good conversation starters for texting illicit a response and nobody can resist texting back, “what happened in your dream?” to this text.
Say what you want about horoscopes, but it really can tell you a lot about a person. If your date only responds with their sign, ask them if they think the description fits their personality or not.
Personally, I don’t think politics make for fun flirting, so maybe try to stick to celeb-news, viral internet sensations, or something less polarizing.
You probably know what they do for a living at this point, but do you really know? If they like what they do, they’ll probably love telling you about it, which wins you points!
If you follow each other on social media, their posts are an easy thing to piggyback off of for conversation starters that feel natural.
If you’re a little more daring, you can also piggyback off of their social media posts to ask them on a date!
This seems simple, but you’d be surprised how much it means to someone when you remember that they have a big thing going on that day.
Did you know that asking people for favors makes them like you more? Plus, asking someone for their opinion makes them feel special. Ask them which tie to wear tomorrow (with pics attached), which rug to order for your new apartment, or which ice cream flavor to pick up from the grocery store. Maybe they’ll even invite themselves over to eat some ice cream with you!
Simple, direct, and to the point. Can’t go wrong here.
This text works better if you’ve already discussed music and are on the same wavelength. If they’re into EDM and you love country, they might not even know the artist you’re talking about.
Always adorable, and who doesn’t like music recommendations?
Interesting questions seem to work best and come off more casually when you also insert a tidbit of information about yourself, like this.
While this doesn’t actually say much more than the basic, “hi” text, it’s way cuter and will definitely get you a better response.
This is a fun, flirty text to send that will certainly put a smile on your date’s face.
Get a window into your date’s sense of humor while being a bit cheeky.
Who knows? Maybe your date hates texting as much as you do and would rather talk on the phone or Facetime? You’ll never know until you ask.
This is a surefire way to make your date feel good and be more comfortable texting you first.
If you’re really shy and stumped on what to say, just type “hi” into the GIF search bar and see what comes up. Find a cute GIF and send it. It might not be one of the best conversation starters for texting, but it’ll at least be better than a “hey” text.
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